Belonging

 

The old Kershader village boundary

In traditional gaelic culture it is common to ask 'where do you belong?'.  It is not just a question about where someone lives, it is something that the individual will say of themselves as part of their identity 'I belong to Kershader'.  It suggests to me a deep connection with the land, similar to the way sheep heft to a particular area.  Or perhaps it is not just Kershader as a collection of fields, but a greater whole, including the people who also live there that the individual belongs to.
 
In mind of this importance placed on community and land connection, there was a historic celebration last weekend, when the people of Pairc formally celebrated buying the estate from it's landlord.

No longer will the land in the area of Pairc be owned by a someone who does not live here.  The Pairc Trust - a committee of elected members - will now have control over what happens to the area, be it sheep farming, wind farming or anything else that will affect the residents.

It has been a long and emotional battle to get to this point.  It has divided the community, cost hundreds of thousands of pounds in legal fees and a final sale price and the repercussions are still being felt.  It is not simple to explain all the detail, it is hard to know what is fact, what is legal jargon, what are lies and what is just gossip.

On paper it seems positive for a community to jointly own its own land, but I do not know if it has done anything to strengthen peoples feeling of belonging.  Like a bitter war, I think many people still feel sad about those that have fallen and were injured by the battle, to join in the celebrations at this time.

It has come at the same time that the UK has decided to leave the European Union, a decision that I feel was the wrong one - and so did the majority of people in Scotland.  The 'Leave'-voting majority were from England and Wales and included members of my family.  It highlighted to me the stark contrast between where I am now, who I am now, and where I came from.  One of the reasons I left where I grew up was because I didn't feel I belonged there, the dominant mindset just didn't appeal to me.  Nowadays however, whether it is a feeling of belonging to Kershader, or more that I belong to my new family (as they in turn belong to me), I realise that this is such an important factor in our wellbeing.   We must all feel that we are in the right place, that we fit with our environment, to become happy. 

Another piece of old gaelic culture which has it right.

The road ahead...

Time to Remember

'When God made time, he made a lot of it'.
I first heard this idea when we had just moved onto this quiet, Christian island and I immediately knew that this was a place where it could be true.

The main reason we moved from the rush-rush-rush of city living was to have time to spend with our children.  Faced with a short, year long maternity leave (at best) and the expectation to immediately return to who I was before the life changing event, the decision to opt out was simple to make.

We have been so lucky to have been present at almost every event in our boys' growing up. From babies, to toddlers, to primary and now into secondary and teen age, we have always been there alongside them for every milestone.  We have those memories stored and no one can take them away from us...

Many women enjoy the luxury of spending time watching their children develop, but by moving away from mainland society's expectations, Mark too was able to build up a vast repository of positive memories and bond with his sons.  I think he felt the social pressure and guilt more than I did, but thankfully we were committed to our ideals and we were happy to make the sacrifices necessary to go on with the way of living we believed to be correct.

As the boys have got older, we have been able to build up a working momentum again, rather than just being thrown back into the mix.  I am only now, when the boys are 10 and 11, starting to feel the challenges of balancing work and childcare.  The idea that I would have had to do this during the precious times of them being toddlers fills me with depression.  What a waste of time, to work for a bit of money or career advancement, rather than to grasp the one chance I would ever have to see my boys grow up.

Modern living makes us so disconnected and distracted from our memories and aren't they what make us who we are.   Our own lives and past's are what gives us meaning in the present and what is a life without meaning?

I hope to always be able to remember precious times and have those feelings again.  I think I will, so long as I have time and space to remember in the future.  Call it praying, or meditation, it takes a bit of practice but then its a bit like traveling back in time, but in your own mind.  A pretty good life-skill to develop I'd say.

 

Lapwings

A beautiful sunny Saturday, filled with potential.

The 2 smallest lambs, 6&7 (another new one arrived on Monday!) have moved back into the polytunnel area so I can continue to bottle feed them away from the other monsters. These little girls are lounging on a grassy hump in the sunshine, awaiting their breakfast. The 4 older boys are grazing, but No 5 is calling out already - he is a moany male, I wonder if this is because he still has his testicles, or just that he is the youngest...!

These might make a lovely, furry pair of earings...

Over at the back of the croft there are some rugged cliffs - not too high up, but high enough to give a good view of the surrounding fields. Today 2 pairs of Lapwings are dive bombing the crag - it is a good place for eagles to sit and survey, so I suspect they are trying to scare off a predator who has been bothering them on their nests.

I love Lapwings - they are such a glamorous bird for the Outer Hebrides, with their black fascinator head dress, and shiny green and rainbow cloaks.  When they are flying their wings make an unusual pattern, it reminds of the Thai fighters in Star Wars!  And their call is un-mistakeable when you have heard it once.

Our gazings clerk has made himself a new field at the edge of the village and this is where the Lapwings have moved in. They like a marshy ground but with a mix of cover. There are certain spots around South Lochs where you can see them wheeling in the sky in the springtime, I'm so glad we have become one of their chosen areas, they are fascinating to watch.