Its a new dawn, its a new day….

Christmas was a blur this year, a collision of worlds and a reminder of all the jobs outside I have been neglecting because of working inside now.

My goats have worried me for months; their field is waterlogged from a year of rain, they have eaten everything in their field so that the ground looks shaved and last week the youngest mysteriously died. To be quite frank I feel she probably lost the will to live, facing another stormy cold muddy winter, she probably just thought, no I can't put up with this any longer.

Poor Snowdrop

It is very upsetting to lose livestock, I just cannot see these animals as automatons, incapable of thought, feeling or personality. The chickens, well they do seem pretty limited, but the goats are so physically big it seems as though they must posess more inside their minds? I do believe that animals will behave as you treat them (an idea that applies to humans too) but how their goaty minds work, I do not know.

I have felt guilty of the life they must lead, I make them live outside, in an open shed, all I really do us feed them well enough and try to make them as comfortable as I can. But when I do have time to give them some fuss, a stroke or a brush, it is unquestionable from their reaction that they enjoy it. They like physical contact, as well as the butting tussles they have with each other, they also huddle into each other for warmth and for comfort. Millie was the mother of the goat, Snowdrop, who died- they used to stand together, nuzzling necks and just enjoying the comfort from proximity. I think she must miss her now she’s gone, but for what reason I wonder? Is it just for selfish reasons?

All this wondering aside, goats do like human attention and I don't give them very much nowadays.

This holiday I have had the time to get properly dressed to go outside; waterproof trousers, extra socks and a good jacket. Dressed like this I could almost live outside myself! It has given me an insight into the life of an outside creature. The wind is a scented breeze not an uncomfortable blast. The day has its own time, never governed by the hands of a clock but by the whims of the weather. The goat’s main occupation is to graze, rest, regurgitate, repeat. Apart from the absolute boredome of it perhaps a life like that isn't so bad? Do they understand anything of the world they see and experience around them or are they ruled by emotion rather than any rationality. Do they have their own ideas about how the world works? When the moon comes out some nights, does this create a different calendar for them and extend their year? How different is the world for them?

As we go into 2016 I feel optimistic for the coming seasons. Despite the lack of summer last year, I can't help but feel this year will be a blinder again…. I resolve to organise my time (and footwear) better, to get out on the croft again and not get too preoccupied by office ways. In a few weeks we will move the goats from their shaved field and I wont have to cut down pine tree branches for them and throw them into their field.  For the first time they will step out onto the adjoining hill, covered in all important roughage for them to eat; heather, grasses, moss and rushes. Their view of the world will change, their perspective of the nearby fields and hills will be different and I am confident this will make them happier.  Or at least give them something to do and think about for a little while longer....