Grief...

2 weeks ago I watched a life come into the world, but yesterday I watched 1 leave.  It wasn't one of the 4 orphans in the polytunnel, it was a little girl lamb that I had only just been to pick up that morning. She seemed hollow and underfed like the others, but Murdo Garyvard (who gave us lambs 2 years ago) had fed her before we left so i thought she would be fine to go straight into the polytunnel with the others.
They didn't bother her, she had a little toddle around and then found a quiet corner to go to sleep in.  I kept an eye on her over the next few hours and she was sleeping comfortably, but when I went to try her with some milk, I picked her up and she was definitely not alright. Her head was curling around and she generally felt a little stiff.
I have seen this before with our 1st orphan Dolly, and with her I just sat her on my lap and rubbed her and she came back to life.  So I tried this with the new lamb.  Her breathing was really laboured and with hindsight I think I should have just left her to die while she was sleeping.
I tried to coax her back to the land of the living for about half an hour and then Mark came home and tried all that he could think of too.  When we laid her down she stretched her legs out and pushed her chin up - at one point her eyes were making Rapid Eye Movements and she was kicking her little legs as if she was dreaming.  In the end we thought it might be too hot for her so we moved her into a straw filled tub in the kitchen.  Once there she started bleeting out and rolling around, but her eyes were tightly shut now. Then she stopped moving and breathing and died.

I know nobody can tell if its the case, but with all the sudden calling out at the end, I really think she was saw a bright light at the end of a tunnel...

At least I know what death looks like now, so I maybe I can make it more comfortable for the next one....

Poor little lamb....